Songs of Eretz Poetry Review is pleased to present “The Poetry Diet - Drop a
Stanza in Just Two Weeks!” by Cathy Bryant. Ms. Bryant worked as a life model, civil servant, and child-minder
before becoming a professional writer.
She has won twelve literary awards, including the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction
Prize, and her work has appeared in over 100 publications including The London Magazine, The Huffington Post,
and The Rialto. She co-edited Best of Manchester Poets vols. 1-3, and
her latest collection, Look at All the
Women, was published by Mother’s Milk Books in 2014. Visit her at www.cathybryant.co.uk.
The Poetry Diet - Drop a Stanza in Just Two Weeks!
Cathy Bryant
Breakfast is blank verse
spread with ballads
Or a bowl of elegy and a
boiled ode.
For lunch, try a rondelet with
herbs such as cento.
Follow with a lay if liked,
Sweetened artificially if
necessary.
Vary your cinquains and
quatrains
According to season.
For dinner a well-grilled
villanelle
With a simple side sonnet and
a little steamed prose.
Do beware of prose. It can be
hard to stop.
Make sure to keep crunchy acrostics
to hand.
For snacks, try haiku.
They're surprisingly meaty
And will satisfy.
Free verse is unlimited.
Drink at least eight couplets
a day,
And up to three glasses of
freshly-squeezed phrases.
When tempted by fizzy
limericks,
Chewy clerihews, chocolate
epics and sweet lyrics,
Visualize yourself as a sexy
sestina
Rather than doughy doggerel.
This poem is scientifically
proven
And has been approved by
dactyls
And other members of the
metrical profession.
It really, really works.
Poet’s Notes: As a person with a certain
baroque charm when it comes to my physique (i.e. I'm fat), I've read quite a
few diet books. Their perkiness and breeziness always seem to mask a hint of
desperation, too, I reckon, and I wanted to capture that in a poem. Also, this
is a diet that you can follow while eating and drinking whatever you like.
Really, it should be read while eating pie.
Editor’s Note: What a fun piece of poem! “The Poetry Diet - Drop a Stanza in
Just Two Weeks!” has appeared in The
London Magazine, on the Marple Poetry
Prize website, and in Contains Strong
Language and Scenes of a Sexual Nature.
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